Confessions, Comedy, Crazy Drama... Pretty Wicked Episode 3

As I open up more this week, I find my world in the loft becomes a whole lot more complicated. The girls all seem to be incredibly mean and judgmental. I was under the impression that this is about self-improvement and I find that everything and anything I say can and will be used against me. I opened up about my father and instantly everyone equated that to my standard for dating older men. I stated that growing up, I was jealous of my brother and I wanted to be an only child so bad that I wished him dead. The girls of course blew that way out of proportion. They all twisted everything to make it look like I was a psychotic crazy bitch. I certainly was not happy about this. I confided in them that I felt so bad to this day about how bad I treated my brother and it was thrown back in my face to make me look worse. I am really starting to hate being here. At this point I just want to go home. I feel like I am living with a pack of wolves. These girls are ruthless.

Another issue that rises is the thought of me having an eating disorder. It appeared to be the topic of the week. There was lots of gossip and to be honest I was pissed. First of all, even if I was on the verge of dying from starvation, the girls certainly would not care. They would just look at it like one less girl in the house and one girl closer to winning. I found that the gossip was more just for the sake of gossip. Something to talk about, something to put focus on so that certain people can slip under the radar of conniving, intent to bring everyone else down. I find it to be pretty harsh to accuse someone of something and have no information to back it up. -->

At first when we found out that the challenge was a comedic roast I was so happy. I thought I would master it due to my acting and improv classes.... Acting is my true passion!!!! Growing up I took numerous classes and performed in numerous plays. I thought my background with acting and my recent studies of improv would help me win the challenge for sure......lol....I guess I was wrong. I wanted to do impressions of the girls and I thought it would be the funniest way to make fun of them because I would do nothing but portray how they are....even use their own words. Apparently it did not work because nobody in the audience understood it. Perhaps I should stick to acting and ease off the comedy for a while... LOL

At this point, Katie was definitely my least favorite person in the house. There is just something about her, I cannot even explain it. She is sneaky and I know she gossips a whole lot about me. I do not really like girls who gossip...I have no tolerance for petty catfights, which is her specialty. I was probably looking forward to roast her the most. Ana is probably my closest friend in the house at this point. She is the one who connects with me the most. Everyone seems to hate both of us -- we have our own bedroom, we both smoke, and we kinda look out for each other. She is definitely the only girl in the house I am actually glad is still there.