When Mia stopped by the loft with the sash game my initial thought was, "Oh sh*t! This is not going to be good. Most of the girls here do not like me!" I was a bit nervous to see what I would get labeled with. Luckily Sarah R. had to label me and she was nice about it. I got to label Katie. It was hard to be nice because she was my least favorite girl at the time. I tried to be as nice as I could. I chose stylish because...well that is all I could really say nice about her. And I chose catty because...well that is obvious! When I walked into the loft I thought I was playing a different game so I lied about my age. I did not want the girls to think I had life experience as an advantage. Right from the beginning they were trying to figure out what I was lying about. I also had to watch a lot of my stories because most of them did not add up due to the extra years I was pretending I did not live. When I broke down about my age last week it made everything else appear as a lie too. My timeline was all out of whack and it made it look like I lied about a whole lot and most of the girls just jumped to a lot of conclusions as well. THE MORAL OF THE STORY: IF YOU TELL ONE LIE, EXPECT TO TELL MANY LIES TO COVER THAT ONE LIE........AKA.....DO NOT LIE!!!! -->
I am not sure how honest the other girls were about their stories to Pat. I was emotionally choked up about my story and did not really pay attention to what everyone else said. The pressure of the other girls watching me kinda made me crack. I quickly left the room after my story and did not listen to the other stories. Actually it didn't matter. I was only there to change myself, not the other girls ;) At that time I was not sure who the least trustworthy girl was. I did not think I could really trust anyone. Sad to say, but everything I said was twisted and thrown back in my face. I can say, that out of all of the girls I could trust Ana and Sarah R. the most. They may not have gotten along, but both of them appeared to be the most genuine. I hoped I was right about that.
I had mixed feelings about Qui leaving. Naturally, as we all know, Qui was pretty nasty to me. She had it stuck in her head that I was lying about a whole lot. It all started with the Pat interviews. Qui accused me of lying about going to school and then it led to a bunch of other things such as I was not from Chicago and god knows what else. At first I was very confused. I had no clue where this was coming form. I had no clue why she would even care if I went to school, which I did (Moraine Valley Community College and then St. Xavier University as an English major). I tried to talk to her and even showed her my driver's license that had my address on it, but she would not take it as valid proof. When we got down to the judge panel for the first time I realized why she was so upset. She thought I stole her story and used it for Pat's interview. Wow! It kinda made sense now.
I remembered me and Qui sitting at the kitchen table and we had a heart to heart talk. She told me she was confused about life. She went to school and switched her major a bunch of times and studied various fields because she had no clue what she really wanted to do. I understood exactly where she was coming from because I too switched my major a whole lot. I wanted to be a cop, then I wanted to study psychology, then I got into health and fitness in hopes of being a personal trainer, then I wanted to study Kinesiology. I took event coordinating classes, travel agent classes, and business classes. I studied sociology, and then I ended up as an English major and dropped out of school three classes short of a bachelor's degree because I had a personal injury and my physical therapy interfered with my schedule. This was three years ago. I never went back because I realized my only true passion in life has always been acting. I took many classes growing up and was always in plays. I felt I was getting a little too old to just sit back anymore. I would hate to live life with regrets so I put all my efforts into pursuing my acting career. Well at the time when me and Qui had this conversation I was lying about my age and there is no way it would have made sense if I revealed all of that information to her. It is impossible for me to have done so much and dropped out three years ago only being 21years old. So I simply stated: "Yea I know exactly how you feel, I have no clue what I want to do either." -->
After I realized what had happened and why she was so mad, I felt really bad. I almost feel like the reason why she left was because of me. True she was too stubborn to let it go, but she had that impression because I held back so much information. I was a bit disappointed at the whole situation because I really liked Qui. Prior to the whole Pat interview thing we really got along. For the first time I actually saw how a stupid little lie, such as an age, had such a huge impact. It really made me think about a whole lot. And unfortunately I never got to tell Qui my side of the story. She had to leave the loft immediately after elimination. Whether or not she would have even listened to it and/or believed it, I would still like to apologize to her for making her believe that I stole her story and tell her that I should have been more upfront when we had that conversation and that I knew where she was coming from because I did the exact same thing. So if you are reading this Qui, I am sorry. I know where you are coming from girl because I did the same thing. I switched my major a ton of times and aside from acting I still have no clue what I want to do with my life.
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